The King SPEAKS

51 Things Girls Should Know About Guys!!!

Posted on April 23rd, 2007 by The King.
Categories: Everything and Anything!!!, Hilariously Dillusional, Life.

1. Guys hate sluts.

2. “Hey, are you busy?” or “Are you doing something?” ~ two phrases guys open with to stop from stammering on the phone.

3. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep, they always think about the girl they truly care about.

4. Before they call, guys try to plan out a little about what they’re gonna say so there aren’t awkward pauses, but once he’s on the phone he forgets it all and makes it up as he goes.

5. Guys go crazy over a girl’s smile.

6. Guys will do anything just to get you to notice him.

7. Guys hate it when you talk about your ex-boyfriend or ex love-interest. Unless they are going for the “let her complain to you and then have her realize how wonderful and nice you are” method.

8. A guy who likes you wants to be the only guy you talk to.

9. Boyfriends need to be reassured often that they’re still loved.

10. Don’t talk about your guy friends to your boyfriend.

11. Guys get jealous easily.

12. Guys are more emotional than they’d like people to think.

13. Giving a guy a hanging message like “You know what?!..uh…never mind..” would make him jump to a conclusion that is far from what you are thinking. And he’ll assume he did something wrong and he’ll obsess about it trying to figure it out.

14. Guys are good flatterers when courting but they usually stammer when they talk to a girl they really like.

15. Guys hate asking parents for money to buy girls presents. So they come up with ideas like saving their lunch money for a week. But it never works because guys are always hungry so they end up asking the parents for money anyway.
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Feel Miserable? Why?

Posted on March 21st, 2007 by The King.
Categories: Hilariously Dillusional, Life, School.

So today was like any other day in my life. Well I did get my report card, but I’ll come back to that. I got up in the morning, went to school, gave tests, the usual. But I feel miserable right now, and I’m not quite sure why? I mean I just do, no explanation or anything. Maybe too much stress, too much work, the SAT’s screwing with my head? Yup, I finally registered for the SAT’s. I did it on Monday, apparently it was the first day of Navratari and its supposed to be seen as good luck. So my dad wanted me to register on that particular day. Let’s just hope it proves to be lucky.

Back the the report card, I might just have figured out why I’m so miserable. My report was just a 100% average this time. I know everyone’s thinking, wow what a asshole. He gets a 100% and complaining, but you know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking the exact same thing. Why do I have to feel bad when I’m getting such good grades? Why do I feel like I could have done better? It’s a weird concept, but I have a theory. I’ve gotten so used to getting that 100+ average that now a 100 seems normal. And since none of my classes changed, I felt inside that I should have gotten another 103%.

It’s just weird how we set our own standards. A year ago, same time, I would have been on Cloud 9 if I had gotten these grades. I’d brag about, show it off to my parents. I would have probably called them as soon as I got home and I’d be just waiting for them to say Good Job. Ah! the proud feeling. Today, I came home. Relaxed, watched T.V. and pretty much forgot about my report card. It wasn’t till my Mom asked about my Report Card that I was reminded of it. I just said i got a 100% and got on with my business. Dad came home, handed it to him, he saw it, said Good Job, said thanks and pretty much end of conversation. Why can’t I get the same appreciation that I would have a year ago? Why do the standards keep changing? Why was my excellent score a year ago 99% but this year my average score is a 100? I’m not disappointed in my parents for responding the way they did, I’m just bewildered on my reaction. My reaction that meh, no big deal. I deserve a little more from my different personalities don’t you think?

Reason for this post? I don’t know. Just felt like writing!

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Protected: Prank on Phone Operators

Posted on February 18th, 2007 by The King.
Categories: Everything and Anything!!!, Hilariously Dillusional.

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Things That Piss Me Off - A CATEGORY?

Posted on January 24th, 2007 by The King.
Categories: Everything and Anything!!!, Hilariously Dillusional, Life, Things That Piss Me OFF!!!.

The Title should really explain it all. I mean, any faithful reader of mine should know that I already have a Topic named “Things That Piss Me Off”. But since a lot of thing pisses THE KING off, I thought I might as well make a whole new category about it.

Today’s post is about Soap Opera’s. Yup everyone’s loved (ironically, as hated) Soap Opera’s. Lord curse the man who invented those things. Honestly, they serve no useful purpose for the future of humanity. Instead it shall destroy it, shatter it into pieces and wipe out its existence. Some might say I’ve gone a little too far, but you’ll see. SOON!!!

The story goes like this: The T.V. in my house was, thank you GOD, not in my room. So whenever my mom wanted to watch her silly Indian (yes that’s important because it makes its worse) soaps, she would watch it in that particular room and I could just walk out. At the end of last year, we got another T.V. and the ultimate outcome of that was that one T.V. was in my room and the other one where the earlier one was. So basically, it looks like a good deal. NOT. Apparently, my mom likes the angle of the TV position better in my room. So now she’s here either watching Food Channel or her INDIAN Soap Operas. The Food Channel doesn’t really bother me that much because the food looks good and seeing good food makes you feel good. But you know what doesn’t make you feel good, well for one Soap Operas, but also not getting the food. DAMN THOSE FOOD CHANNEL PEOPLE. But that’s a whole different issue. Back to Soap Opera’s… there’s just so much wrong with it. Not only is it based on total bullshit, they’re all the same. How come there’s always an effin love triangle? Why should there always be one? WHY? So maybe that’s not a big issue. What about their boring lines? Have you ever noticed that they use the same lines over and over again? For example, take this scene:

Girl: I love you (to boy)
Guy: But I love someone else
Girl: She’s the luckiest girl on the earth. I hope she knows that you love her so much.
Guy: But she doesn’t know that I love her.
Girl: Good luck with your life. I still love you, and if ever you decide to come back, I’ll always love you and I won’t marry anyone else. I’ll be waiting for you.

After this point either of two things happen. Either the “unlucky girl” goes and kills the other girl (horror movies mostly) or the girl who he actually loves, loves him too but can’t express her love due to some circumstances and thus promises that the “unlucky girl” will marry the guy. And everyone knows that in the end, the girl supposed to married is going to get married. So why all these shenanigans, I fail to understand.

A lot of Pro - Soap Operas (Yes that’s a term) say that movies are similar, except shorter. For one, yes they are shorter which makes them much much much sweeter. They are way less predictable than Soap Operas. Now honestly, we all known that in all movies the protagonist wins the babe (except horror), but it’s how he reaches her. On the other hand, Soap Operas follow the same basic rules, and don’t even try to twist it up a little bit. Please God, at least try to make them interesting.

So next time you see someone watching a Soap Opera, go and turn of the TV. And if they’re older, and decide to beat the crap out of you, take it like the man you are, COZ IT WAS WORTH IT.

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New Year Resolution

Posted on December 31st, 2006 by The King.
Categories: Everything and Anything!!!, Hilariously Dillusional, Life.

New Year’s Resolution (Answers.com)

A New Year resolution is a commitment that an individual makes to a project or a habit, often a lifestyle change that is generally interpreted as advantageous. The name comes from the fact that these commitments normally go into effect on New Year’s Day and remain until the set goal has been achieved, although many resolutions go unachieved and are often broken fairly shortly after they are set.

Honestly now that is the exact definition I found on answers.com, and I starting laughing my ass off. It’s just hilarious how they actually mention the part where “many resolutions go unachieved and are often broken fairly shortly after they are set.” On the contrary, I believe that none of the resolutions are actually achieved. But still I have to write them, for tradition sake. So here’s my list.

1) Be more confident, and less shy.
2) Flirt more.
3) Know more white chicks. (no I’m not racist, I just like milk chocolate better)
4) Stop being lazy.
5) Get good scores on SAT.
6) Get better at wrestling.
7) And last but not least, pay more attention to my blog and write more.

Now we all know which one of these are going to be fulfilled, and which are not. Obviously, the “stop being lazy” one is not going to be completed. I’ll try, but anyone who knows me knows the fact. And the part about flirting more, it might just work. Obviously I need some coorperation, that is the girls don’t smack me.

Post your New Year’s Resolutions here, and wish you all a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! YAY

Someone sent me a funny picture, but might be a little mature for some people. Please continue reading only if you think it’s age appropriate.

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