The King SPEAKS

Protected: How Should I feel?

The King — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 23:13:19 +0000

Protected: In The End

The King — Sat, 29 Mar 2008 20:23:54 +0000

Letting The Beast Out!!!

The King — Mon, 17 Mar 2008 00:48:37 +0000

I’ve had enough. I don’t need this anymore. I tear my face away screaming, letting out the anguish built in. Slowly the monster comes out, no longer held in by the body made by society. I’m not what you think I am and I never will be. I scream more, the screams music to my ears and peace to my heart. It feels good to come out of this cast. I’ve been in this mold far too long, it’s time you knew who the real me was. I’m tired of making everyone else happy and fulfilling everyone’s wishes. The perfect son, the perfect brother, the perfect friend. What about me? Where do I find my perfect parents or my perfect friend? Who really knows me? Who really WANTS to know me? Lies and deceit, all I ever hear and tell. When will it all stop? When will it all end? The mold is broken, the beast is out. I am happy. Society is not. It forces the beast to wear another cast, another shell. I’m confined again, once more held against my will. When will I be free? When will people know the real me? What’s the solution? Does one even exist?

Here I am again, inside yet another cover.

Many a nights I lay awake…

The King — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 04:01:16 +0000

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, “Where have I gone wrong?”
Then a voice says to me, “This is going to take more than one night.”

- Charles M. Schulz (1922 - 2000), Charlie Brown in “Peanuts”

Many a nights I lay here awake,
Thinking of what I’ve done,
All the mistakes I’ve made,
All the problems from which I’ve run.

I know I’ve done wrong,
I know that I’ve erred,
But what can I do?
all my plans smudged and blurred.

I promise myself I’ll do better tomorrow,
I promise I won’t make the same slip,
I know I can improve myself,
I know I need to get a grip.

I slowly fall asleep,
Into the world of dreams,
The promises fade away,
I’ll make the same mistakes it seems.

Night after night,
the same thoughts go through my mind,
Yet, why can’t I see the truth,
Why am I so blind?

Written in less than 10 minutes

You Screwed Me Over!

The King — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 22:30:25 +0000

Why’d you have to make it so painful? Why’d you have to leave me so scarred? I can’t even trust anyone anymore. You left me shattered so badly that no matter what I do, I can’t put it behind me? I can’t trust anyone and I’m always doubting myself. Why’d you have to leave that way?

I don’t even know what to say to you. I want to hate you but I can’t. I can’t hate anyone. You’ve left me so bad that my mind constantly doubts the reality. I think everyone is conspiring against me, even those close to me. I have problems giving my trust to people, constantly doubting them. Every action, I wonder why that person did it? Why can’t I accept that it’s just a plain and simple action? Why do I think that there are two sides to every action. Why do I doubt they’re love? Why can’t I be sure of myself? Why can’t I accept that she just likes me? Why do I think there’s a greater conspiracy behind everything? Jeez! I’m not that bad. I want to lift myself up from the bottom of the pit, but all these small things just push me back down. I hate you, I hate what you’ve done to me. I hate the fact that I know all this but still act the same fucking retarded way. I hate myself.

InvisibleSHIELD - Strength Test

The King — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 18:50:35 +0000

IPhone is one of the widely known gadgets out there. With it’s awesome touch screen technology, some might even call it cutting edge (others who know better might not!). But to protect such a commodity, you need something that is durable and you know will protect your precious little angel (IPhone, not your children.) But seriously, this video shows just how durable the Invisible Shield it. Looks Awesome! Even Chuck Norris might not be able to break through it. What am I talking about, Chuck Norris can break through anything. But it will be tough for him, I’ll give you that! The video could have been a little better with some sound or music you know. But on the whole, it shows what it wants to, the durability of the Invisible Shield! Enjoy!

invisibleSHIELD video

This post is for PAYPERPOST and therefor SPONSORED!

So much to say…

The King — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 04:06:53 +0000

I want to say something to you, I really do. It’s on the tip of my tongue. I look at you, I want to blurt it out, let the beast wild. Open the cage door, step back and let it all out. I look into your eyes, the very eyes I want to be number one in. How could I lie to those eyes. They look at me, stare at me. I want you to know how I truly feel, who I truly am, WHAT I truly am. I want to tell you everything, tell you how I truly feel. Will you love me more? Will you hate me? There are so many things wrong, you have no idea. I can’t believe you did this, or you didn’t do that. How did you forget … So many things.

Lies upon lies, deceit upon deceit. We NEVER say what we want to. Those who do are called insensitive. Why do we keep everything bottled up inside? Why can’t I just say it. Why are relationships based on lies? Not telling how we truly feel, putting on a mask every single time. How long can we live with it is the question, how long till the mask chokes us and we can’t breath.

I want to say so many things to you, I really do. I look at your eyes, you blink. The moment is gone. I bottle it up inside. I want to tell you what I feel inside, but I don’t. I’m too scared. I don’t want to lose you. But with all the lies, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to be with you…

Shackled

The King — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 03:09:51 +0000

I wake up in a bright room. My hands and feet tied to shackles. Big manacles made out of cast iron, bitter cold, rubbing against my bare skin. My skin bleeds with every movement; I tear away another layer, further injuring my scabs. I don’t want to give up. I’ll be free. I WON’T GIVE UP. There’s an immense force holding my chest tight, I look down – another chain. It’s closing down on me… squeezing me tight… I can’t breathe… it hurts too much. God has clasped his mighty hand down on me, holding me there, I can’t move forward, not a single inch. Every movement is another pin in the chest, another stab in the heart. My feet bound to the earth; trying to lift the weight of a thousand men… too bad they were only built to carry one. They can’t move either, tied with nails to the ground just like J.C. on the cross. I move my head forward; it’s the only part I can move. It gives me the perception that I can move forward… But I can’t. Not even a little. What are these shackles, what’s holding me down? Where am I? Why is the room so bright? What day is it?

This day is March 29th, 1991. It’s the operating room in a hospital. I’ve just been born. These shackles are the restraints of society, tying me to the ground, not letting me move. I move my head forward again, another lie, another deception. We can only move our heads forward, we think we can move our whole body, but they lie, we lie, I lie… to me. I give it one last tug… nothing. No rings broken, no miracles happen. I stand there, arms stretched in front, shackled. Feet in the middle, shackled. My bare chest bruised and scarred, shackled. My eyes, they bleed, they long for the freedom they deserve, the sparkle in them gone, lost forever. There are blood stains on the shackles, dried up from a war long lost. I stand there, with my head down, body motionless, shackled!

Happy Valentine’s Day

The King — Fri, 15 Feb 2008 02:17:33 +0000

Even in a world without colors,

Our love fills them in!

Happy Valentine’s Day sweetheart

Catch Me If You Can!

The King — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 23:24:12 +0000

Human, being a social animal, is often faced with the question: Who can you really trust? It’s hard to explain when you can trust someone because there is not set criteria. This is one of those mysterious of life which you can only learn through experience, and luckily you won’t be burnt too badly. I was talking to one of my friends and the topic came up, and I remembered the “Trust Exercise” they always show. You stand with your hands open and let yourself fall back, and the person you trust has to catch you. The conflict is that, you should trust them enough to catch you because in your mind, you fear falling.

So after my conversation, I was thinking about the test. I realized that the test needed some modification. Let’s say, the person you trust tries to catch you, and you do fall because he wasn’t strong enough. Does that mean you can’t trust the person anymore? Ofcourse not, he/she tried his best. On the other hand, what would be a real test would be if you trusted the person enough to give him another chance. Yup, let yourself fall again knowing that there’s a high chance you will fall again. That my friend is trust. Trust or Stupidity (Hmm, double meaning?)

But really, trust is just like that fall. You take a chance giving the person a chance, because you really don’t know if he/she will live up to it.

Good to be back to my random ramblings!